Thank you pt. II

Thank you to all the rich spoiled kids that put themselves on a platform higher than everyone else's. 

Money doesn't make you any better than the rest of us. 

Your clothes? Overpriced, yet skanky ... paying more for less usually doesn't make sense. 

Your car? Just because I drive something "old" and "ugly" doesn't mean its not a car. It works fine. Just because yours costs three times as much doesn't make it any better.

Having a cup of Starbucks in your hand constantly, it makes you look like an idiot.

having skin with the hue of a carrot and hair the shade of blinding white sand driving a brand new beamer that your parents bought you does not convey true wealth. Worldly wealth yes, but ---

True wealth is what we have stored up for us in heaven. And I have a pretty good idea that new beamers aren't going to be involved in that package. But the package. Will be beyond words. To say the least.

Thank you pt. I

Thank you to all the people that think supermodels have the "ideal" body image.

No I will not grow 4 more inches for you.

No I will not lose 30 more pounds to fit into that size 0.

No I won't use more makeup than necessary.

No I do not appreciate me being stereotyped as too fat and too short.

No I am not too fat and too short. Your standards are far too much.

No I will not conform to your ways. Because your ways are sick.

Makings.

The start of a song to stick to another bit of a song and hopefully make a complete song.

Times moving so slowly

But the days fly by so fast

With nothing more than a glimpse

His love will never last

Yes. Its the makings of something.

So music.

There is no such thing as bad music. What you consider to be "bad music" is merely your opinion.

The term "Christian music" is too confined. The mainstream church has a lot to say about music, and it's a shame. So it's like this --- there's "Church music" --- the music churches use in their services, and if it doesn't mention God's name or the meaning isn't 100% crystal clear, the church usually either shies away from it or condemns it at face value. In my opinion, artists and the songs they write which aren't filled with God, Jesus, holy, spirit, or Lord every other word they sing, are better.

Reason is being that once you find the deeper meaning to a song, its message goes so much more deeper than this shallowness broadcasted in churches across the world. I don't condemn what churches are doing, I just question whether or not they're taking in the whole spectrum of the christian music industry. Because there is truly too much music that gets overlooked because it's "too secular" for the church. What the church needs to realize here is that they are not perfect nor self-righteous. When the leaders go around preaching their stuff that "oh this music is bad and you should be listening to 'christian music' because this 'christian music' isn't 'clean enough' or something you shouldn't be listening to', it frustrates me. Step off your pedestal and come down to the level of everyone else; your music isn't perfect either.

Our opinions vs.

God's actual truth.

Trying to find it.

It's hard.

I know its there though.

Epic. Myabe.

So I've never really had "a list" of what I wanted my dream husband to be, but I was reading up on the topic and I found these to be quite the necessities.

---To control tears is only a selfish attempt to save face. If you really want to reflect Jesus, cry. Jesus wept. This gives you no reason to hold back.

---To control anger, however, is to exercise true authority and self control, allowing you to fulfill your protective role by make those around you feel more secure. 

"Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city". Proverbs 16:32

Not to sound overly demanding here, but this was a quote written by a man on how to truly love your wife, 

"So if you truly love your wife - and to do so is a divine requirement - you will not only refuse to put her down or to hold her back, you will long to empower her to thrive in every area of life. And any way in which she surpasses you will make you proud".

That's what I want.

In return, I give you my all.

Everything is yours.

May God be the center.

Of our lives.

As one flesh.

To him be the glory.

Wrong?

What's wrong is putting God in a box we call church. God was never meant to be confined in a shell as what the dictionary defines as "church".

The church is a body of believers, a body, consisting of many parts, with God living in each of us. It's the God in each of us that unites us, not a "church". That's a box. The real church is us. The people. We could meet under a bridge and it would still be church. We could meet in a grocery store, and we'd still be the church. And it's the fellowship among us with fellow believer that makes us who we are. Not a "church", the church. Us. United.

I'm not suggesting church is bad, it's actually a very beneficial thing. Just keep God the focus, and don't let a pile of bricks and steel with a steeple define who you are.

I can't.

I have no creativity at this point in time. I tried, but I don't have it now. I know I have it, but it froze ... I'll have something to say. Eventually.

Same time tomorrow.

Your fault?

Nope. Not my fault either.

So. There is one major problem with homeschoolers. And no its not being social misfits. Because nowadays most homeschoolers have a life, and a decent one at that. Yes there are still the really far out ones, but they like things that way. So leave them alone.

Homeschoolers are too defensive. When people talk about them, they get all defensive saying they lived the same life socially that a public school kid had. Homeschoolers you are w-r-o-n-g. Homeschooling is a far cry from public school so don't compare yourself to them. And all you other folks? Don't get on their case. They are socialized just fine. It's just different than what you're used to. And what you're used to isn't necessarily the best way either. And since studies have proven that we as human have become more isolated within the past 20 years. Uh, that includes you too public schoolers. 

So as the neutral third party here (I am gladly a non-defensive homeschooler) --- stop complaining about sheltered homeschoolers you public schoolers, and stop trying to defend yourself homeschoolers.

Frustrations.

So a while back I was reliant on others approval ... constantly worrying what people thought of me. It worried me literally sick. I've gotten over that though, and within the past few days I'm turning into the opposite. I could really care less now. I'm finding God is sufficient in every way in my life, and I don't need any of you to tell me I'm fine. I know that for myself now. 

So as I've stepped back, and God revealing to me just how big he is, I'm now frustrated with some things, some people.

I'm frustrated with people that feel that their entitled to so much more than everyone else because they're richer, "more beautiful" (in quotes because their idea of true beauty [bleached hair, fake tan, fake nails, etc.] is skewed), or "smarter" (in quotes because a lot of times this is in reality them thinking their --opinions-- are better and more superior then the rest). They are no better than the homeless man on the street corner, the woman waiting in line for welfare, or the family that goes hungry every night.

I'm frustrated with the boastful. The ones that go around flaunting their riches, their smarts, their looks. Sometimes they don't realize it, but they do. When you're like me who was never the smartest, beautiful person with money, the rich look down upon me. I don't need their "oh I feel so sorry for you" looks. Truth is, I have all the riches I need in heaven, true beauty is in the eye of the beholder (aka God, who has made us perfect) and I'm way smarter than you because street smarts (working hard for my money instead of your wealthy parents feeding it to you on a gold spoon) outshine you and your addiction to yourself.

I'm frustrated with selfishness. After finding the selfishness within myself, God keeps revealing truly how selfish this world is. We care about ourselves. Period. When we help the least of these --- the lonely, the hurting, the hungry --- we are really helping our savior. Humble yourself.

I'm frustrated with stupidity. Because some people just don't care. When you don't care, you're stupid. Sorry to break it to you.

I'm frustrated with you thinking your doctrine is THE only way it should be. Sorry to break it to you again but it's still just your opinion. So stop shoving it down my throat. I have the right to believe what I want to believe. And it's probably different from yours. Get over it. As long as we are still serving the same God, we'll be ok.

Untitled poetry #5

He's therre

there laying

laying down

down dead

dead dreams

dreams shattered

shattered life

life cut

cut short

short lived

lived alone

alone, desperate

desperate crying

crying silent

silent hope

hope derailed

derailed abruptly

abruptly aborted.

Love Lets Live. Abort73.com

Near.

1

So it comes down to this

A bird with no wings

It's the end of the road dear

Bow out gracefully

Do yourself no harm

Fall asleep.

2

Like pencil on paper

Your fate is never sealed

Within the confines of time

The present is here

Past actions have deceased

Spread your wings, take flight.

But don't let go (that road has ended)

of me               (which road will you choose)

Dream once more

open your eyes, shoulders high

advance slowly now

As always dear, know I'm near

letter #5 - last one.

Do I dare say I may be one of the easiest people to please? I don't require the fanciness and frills. For instance:

I hate big houses. They're too lonely. I don't care how rich we are, we live in a small cozy house.

I couldn't stand driving a brand new shiny car. Well I could, but when it comes to life I am perfectly fine driving something used and loved. Anything expensive appeals to me no much more than a well worn mid-sized sedan.

I don't need to be showered with gifts. Your love is sufficient for me. Not to say that the occasional bouquet of flowers is unappreciated, but worldly things don't satisfy me quite like the love you will shower down upon me.

I don't need a bunch of fancy clothes. Unless of course you're a social butterfly with social gatherings left and right and you require me to, I'll gladly take jeans and a t-shirt any day.

I don't like wearing silky things. Weird, yes. Don't buy me silky things. Cotton is a miracle because it makes cozy things like denim and flannel : )

As long as I'm kept fed, I could care less about eating out all the time. Time spent in the kitchen is the best time. More creativeness makes me happy : )

All we need is each other and the rest just kind of falls into place as merely stuff. Which I kind of care less about. 

I love you dearly.

Your bride

letter #4

My dearest husband.

From a very young age I knew there was a few qualities in a guy that I wanted. Here's a few of them:

Not a biker. Or one that acts like it.

Not a workaholic businessman.

Not a rich man.

Maybe a musician. I always found traveling fascinating.

Maybe an artist. They come with brilliant imaginations.

Maybe a teacher. I love learning.

As of recent: no cell phone glued to your head, no being overly shy (you have to compensate for me), nice looking but not Calvin Klein model (they're not my type at all), and no addictions.

Smile darling, smile. It lengthens your life.

Your bride.

letter #3

My dearest husband.

 

Save yourself for me.

Save yourself because your body is not yours, but the Lords. You are his temple. 

Save yourself for us.

Save yourself because in doing so you've overcome your selfish fleshly desires.

Save yourself from you. 

I'm saving myself.

Your bride

letter #2

My dearest husband.

It's funny. We both look at the same moon, the same stars, believe in the same God that unites us, pray for each other yet we don't even know who we are. Because we're not a "we", yet. But we still think of each other like we know the person. I'm hoping God shows me who you are soon, at least meeting, knowing each other. Then again, I think when we meet, we'll know. When God gives me peace about something, it's totally meant to be. I question a lot of things, but when he gives me peace, I stop, am still, find out that's what he really wants. I still remain a little impatient though. Whoever you are, wherever you are, I'm praying we find each other in God's perfect timing, and seek God before we seek each other. For when we keep him the center of our lives, it sets our relationship on a solid rock, beaten and battered yes but never destroyed.

I secretly dream of us always as the two Banana Republic models in the window.

Your bride.

letter #1

My dearest husband.

The ties that bind us together our strong, yet unnoticeable at the time. You are but a silhouette in my mind, a reminder of the good days to come. Much anticipation is building in me, although this time of you + me is still far in the distance. For now, reach for God, not for me. I'll be doing the same thing right along with you. When we find each other, we shall then find out to reach each other, we have to find each other through our savior, our ultimate love.

When it comes to love, love is all I have to offer in my life. I don't come with wealth, a car, abundant talent, or the beauty of a model. All I have to offer is my undying, passionate, submissive love for you. It's humbling, almost shameful at times that I don't have anything more to offer. But when God brings us two together, I know that he will make me sufficient in your eyes. 

Your bride. 

uhhh

I have nothing to say tonight. No words to express my feelings inside. No words to condemn. No words to build up. No words of love, hate, sorrow, anguish, fear, happiness, joy, desire, passion, mediocrity.

Let God talk, and you be the listener.