Weakness.

Being the quiet, more reserved individual that I am, it is so much more natural for me to write out everything instead of talking to someone about it. I find writing everything down enables me to let everything go, rather than having someone keep interrupting me and asking me questions constantly if I merely speak my mind. 

So here's the predicament I was in this past week.

For the past few weeks, I was feeling particularly weak. Very weak actually. So many people were coming at me from all different angles telling me how I was doing things wrong, how my personality was a little off, and that I shouldn't be talking the way I'm talking, and not taking my opinion for all its worth. Now I'm one of these people that takes a grain of salt with everything ... everything. but for some reason this past month I felt belittled by what everyone was saying ... in doing so I didn't let my opinion out at all, and people were still condemning me for the little things in my life that they wanted to see change. Well sorry people but It doesn't work this way! Do you know how many times I want to tell people that their thinking is a little off, the way they handle things is so inappropriate or the way they speak to people needs improving greatly? No. I hold back. I have found that in this weakness of feeling belittled made me stronger. Its funny how God always seems to bring us the right verse at the exact moment we are most troubled "For my grace is sufficient for you, for power matures in weakness" 1 Corinthians 12:9. So in my time of quiet God revealed to me that its merely these people having self-righteousness. When they think what they say is always right, and whatever you say is good but not good enough. You can have an opinion, a strong opinion in some cases, but if you let it get to your head that our opinion reigns supreme, that means you've let self-righteousness in, and shut humility out. 

I found a lot of self-righteousness going around. When everyone thinks that their right, its not a great situation. I found myself getting messages from people saying "yea that person is a jerk" "that person isn't worth being around", and then it was even funnier when I got it in a line, how this person didn't like this person who hated that person and that person was a jerk according to this person.

So in talking about self-righteousness, please don't get any sense that I'm trying to proclaim my self-righteousness. In fact, I hope that I never have to deal with this issue in life. My goal is to try to find that humility, being the Lords servant, following in his ways and spreading his good news, all with a humble spirit.